Flawed

 

The human species to which most of my acquaintances belong, play different roles and face different scenarios from birth till the end. I’ve learnt from literature and experience that we all are flawed. Over and over, I see that men and women are different creatures with same characteristics. But the way our world makes assumptions and treats them is discordant. Often people assume that a man is assertive, strategic, and motivating while a woman is aggressive, manipulative, and controlling. Where has this got us exactly? Verily stalled. Nonetheless this blog is not a feminist manifesto, I’m just telling it like it is. And the contemporary idea of feminism as man-haters is so off-putting and pointless.

I simply observe the world and comprehend how much the values, habits, and attitudes of women are focussed on men. Don’t speak your mind always to protect a man’s ego, don’t provoke men, don’t intimidate men and suchlike. Whenever a woman gets her point across, she is labelled ‘a grumpy woman’. But a man who does the same is righteous and isn’t reduced to that label. So I find this unconscious or conscious bias existing in both men and women. How our society tends to judge women negatively than men who exhibit the same type of behaviour is surprising. Changing our mindsets and cultural attitudes is important for the growth of any society. Aren’t we all in the pursuit of happiness, trying to be alive in different ways? However flawed we may be, I believe all of us have the feasibility of restoration.

We can modernize our ideas on femininity and masculinity. Men speak the language of emotion too. And we must edify women that it’s okay for men to cry. Also, women are simply human. If only people would attempt to look and find the thread of humanity between them and a woman, I wouldn’t have felt the need to write about it. We say that a male desire is primitive but female desire escapes one’s mind. It’s important to know that you are individualistically responsible to be more ethical than the society you grew up in. Being civilized is nurturing the natural aspects of humankind. Just as it is, a woman or man can engage in many forms of femininity or masculinity depending on life’s requirements. A man can nurture and care and a woman can be a leader.

We are different in some respects. A man has a slick way of going into hiding in his cave, solve his problems, de-stress, and come out as if nothing had happened. When he is cave-bound, the woman is confused, looks for his emotional access, and drowns in overthinking. I would say it is ill-advised to hover around his cave or enter it. If he has his cave, why don’t you create your own haven? Keep a space for yourself to indulge, refresh, and renew. There are no winners or losers. Just patience, understanding, and love works in any human bond.

Even though we are flawed, we are capable of goodness. Both men and women can be modest, tender, and loving. As I am writing this, I am reminded of Beethoven’s 9th Symphony ‘Ode to Joy’ which is adapted as the European anthem. It’s an idealistic vision of the human race living in fellowship. It was a revolutionary song that was harnessed by both the good and the evil in history. When I listen to it, I reminisce my memories of joy. What memories does it evoke for you? And if that puts you in the mood, try more classical music here.