Mission Impossible – Mothering Protocol

 “Your mission should you choose to accept it…is to never cease to be a mother. You can’t quit or get fired. There is no vacation and no salary. As always, should you be caught the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This tape will self-destruct in 10 seconds. Good luck”

Yes, mothering feels very much like Tom Cruise’s Mission Impossible series. I’ve always loved Tom Cruise’s disguises, his gripping stunts, and the techno-gadgets. It was thrilling to imagine myself in the stunts accomplishing the missions. At present as a mum, the tempestuous ride of joy and woe, ease and fear, love and scorn makes everyday a “mission impossible”. I’d like to tell you what mothering is like and what it means to me. It’s actually a perpetual catastrophe at multitasking.

“Mummy, do you like dinosaurs? Now give me a chocolate bunny.”

Mothering is…

“Mummy, I want to kiss you. Mummy, I want to wee”

What was I saying? I lost track of it!

Be that as it may, mothering is exhausting yet inspiring. At times it sucks the soul out and yet confers purpose in life. Four years into motherhood, I actually feel cringy writing about mothering, because I struggle with it every single day. I’ve come to believe that you can never master the state of being a mother. Having said this, I chose this path wilfully and there is no greater joy than watching my child learn and develop each new day.

In the first year of a child’s life, our perspectives change. A new mother may find herself worry more, be overprotective, and look extremely tired. She turns into an angsty person in social interactions. This is pretty much normal and embracing these changes is pivotal. Be gentle with yourself, because you are loved.

As the days progress, you will realize that your child is unique. Only you can be an expert on him/her. I do a ridiculous amount of reading in Google looking for some wise counsel on mothering. But only a little of that information is actually useful. Your child is not going to behave like what the Internet says. The best thing to do is to discover by yourself what your child likes to eat, play, and how best he/she falls asleep. And remember you don’t have to follow the rules. Rules make you feel inadequate and eventually you crumble under pressure. Just create life and moments of love that work for you.

Somehow, everyone you meet will have an opinion about your child and most of them are well-intentioned. Though you tend to waver through it in a rebuttal manner, it’s always best to remain confident and not give an ounce of your energy about what they say. Is your kid hale and hearty? You win. Soak up all comments and be wise enough to keep the snippets you like and chuck the ones you don’t.

Children don’t come with an instruction manual, so it’s natural to feel overwhelmed sometimes. It may feel clumsy initially but as time goes on, you will feel comfortable in your abilities. Your skills will improve to meet your child’s extra demands. And it’s important to look after yourself, even if you feel like you have no time at all. Take some time to rejuvenate with any activity that you love like reading a good book or getting a facial or hair done. A great way to keep active is to take your child for a stroll, shopping, or a coffee date. Don’t forget to treat yourself though.

One of the best aspects of mothering that I can think of is love. It is intense, absolute, and fierce. There is sheer joy and pride when your child reaches a milestone. Those conversations about what happened in the nursery that day is something to relish. Reading bedtime stories together is positively delightful. It is so divine to see how happy your child is to see you.

Thus, mothering is an experience or more precisely an adventure to me. There is constant change in motherhood where one can gather wisdom from around and learn from mistakes. You can never be fully prepared for what comes next. Let this walk of life move onward and rejoice when you make it through every breakthrough. Appreciating and accepting what mothering has to offer and knowing that I can deal with whatever comes next is fair enough for me.

Impossible though it may seem, this is your mission!